News Politician: Texas vs California

Showing posts with label Texas vs California. Show all posts

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Translation into Texan of some

common California euphemisms...

*In California:*	*Means in Texas:*
Diversity/Lifestyle Choice	Sinful and Perverted
Arsenal of Weapons	Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands	Swamp
Undocumented Worker	Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials	Polyester
Assault and Battery	Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed	Well-protected
Narrow-minded	Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share	Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control	Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives	Fireworks or Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass	Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity	Socialism
Multicultural Community	High Crime Area
Fairness /Social Progress	Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich"	Self-Employed
Progressive, Change	Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged	Bums/Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle	Scoped Deer Gun
Investment For the Future	Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform	Socialized Medicine
Extremist,/Judgmental/Hater	Conservative
High Capacity Magazine	Standard Mag
Religious Zealot	Church-going
Fair Trade Coffee	Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"	Employed/Land Owner
The Gun Lobby	NRA Members
Assault Weapon	Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus	New/Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage	Legalized Perversion

The Economist h/t Kirby